Thursday, May 16, 2013

Older Family Members and Finances

by Lucy Schrader

I expect to help our kids learn about money and finances.  I know we need to guide them, but not make all of their decisions.  We need to set up situations for them to succeed to become independent.  Yet when it comes to my parents, I hold some different beliefs—they are grown adults; they should take care of their own finances; who am I to tell them how to live and spend their money?  Yet with changes in aging, I may need to shift my thinking. There are more and more elderly adults who are not able to take care of their finances anymore or who need extra help.

So how can a person assist when parents or relatives need more help with their finances? This process takes time and for many families, this is not an easy thing to talk about.  Finances often have many emotions attached, including fear and anger.  And when someone loses control over financial decisions, they often loose independence (in where they live, how they live and what they can do or buy).

As you start discussions, be sure to:

·         Acknowledge feelings

·         Find a low-stress time to talk

·         Find natural times to talk about the issues or to ask questions (for example, use a news feature or an article to start the conversation)

·         Be aware of possible reactions (from relief to anger) from everyone involved, including yourself

·         Respect the person

Having financial conversations can be very hard to do.  Let the person know you want to help them in the way she wants to be helped and that you have her best interest at heart.  You might ask some questions, to encourage the person to put her wishes together and to have a place for all of these items (safe deposit box, fire-water proof file box, etc) so that if you need them in a medical emergency, then you can get to them. 

 

These questions (from Caring.com) can be useful as you help your relative plan for the future.  The person many not want to give you answers to all of these for privacy or other reasons.  Again, you can share the information and continue the conversation another time.

1.      Do they have a durable power of attorney?

The durable power of attorney (DPOA) is considered one of the most important personal legal documents for any older adult to have. Along with a healthcare proxy, it will give whomever your parent designates—whether it be you, one of your siblings, or someone else –the power to make financial and legal decisions (or, in the case of a healthcare proxy, to make medical decisions) if your parent is incapacitated. Without a durable power of attorney in place, you'll have to go to court to get appointed as your parent's guardian.

2.      Where do they keep their financial records?

3.      What are their monthly expenses?

4.      How can I pay their bills if necessary?

5.      Do they have any kind of medical insurance?

6.      What's their income and where does it come from?

7.      Have your parents done any estate planning?

8.      If they can no longer live on their own, what can they afford in terms of housing?

9.      What financial planning have they done?

10.  Do they have an advance health directive?

Helping someone with finances may not be an all or nothing approach. If you feel the person does need help, when at all possible, choose the least intrusive financial tool to keep your relative as financially independent as possible (Helping Older Family Members Make Financial Decisions guide).  For example, maybe your mother gets behind in paying her utility bills, so you set up automatic bill payments for her. She can, however, still manage some cash for grocery shopping, so you set up a system for her to get a cash amount every week to give her some independence.

Also in the guide Helping Older Family Members Make Financial Decisions, the authors look at different tools based on if the relative is or is not able to make financial decisions. (Please note, the following explanations are very brief.  You will need to seek legal and professional help in setting up several of these options.)

 

When the relative can make sound financial decisions, these tools can help:

·         Automatic bill payments

·         Joint bank accounts

·         Power of attorney
The person designates someone to make financial and legal decisions for him when he is not able (when he is incapacitated).

·         Living trusts

A trust is a three-party arrangement, where assets are transferred from one person (the grantor) to another (the trustee).  The trustee holds and manages these assets for the benefit of a third person (the beneficiary).

 

When your relative can’t make sound financial decisions, these strategies can help:

·         Representative payee

If a person cannot manage his checks from Social Security, veteran’s pension, railroad retirement or public benefit programs, a representative payee can be appointed.  Checks are written to the payee on behalf of the beneficiary.  The representative payee cannot get access to the person’s savings accounts or other assets.

 

·         Conservatorship (or guardianship of the estate or guardianship of the property)

Only a court can create a conservatorship.  A person asks the court for the right to manage another person’s financial affairs after that person cannot do so (and if a durable power of attorney or a living trust is not in operation).

 

Families should be aware of their motives for seeking a conservatorship (or any of these tools)—do they have inheritance concerns or concerns about protecting an older person’s money for his or her own needs and wants.  Also, are there differences in values?  Sometimes the older person spends money on different wants and needs, but he is not endangering himself.

 

On an emotional level, none of these may be easy to do.  Role reversals, change of care and change of life habits can be difficult to come to terms with. Be aware of your family member’s and your reactions and reasons and reassess the situation regularly. The goal is to help the person stay as financially independent as possible.

 

References and Resources

5 Most Important Financial Questions to Ask Your Parent. Retrieved May 9, 2013 http://www.caring.com/checklists/financial-questions-for-parents

10 Things You Should Know About Your Parents' Finances. Retrieved May 9, 2013 http://www.caring.com/checklists/elderly-parents-finances

Parker, K. & Patter, E. (2013.) The Sandwich Generation: Rising financial burdens for middle-aged Americans. Pew Research Center. http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/01/30/the-sandwich-generation/#overview

Schmall, V., Nay, T., & Bowman, S. (2005.) Helping older family members handle finances. Oregon State University. Retrieved May 9, 2013 http://extension.oregonstate.edu/catalog/pdf/pnw/pnw344.pdf

 

 

Lucy Schrader
HES Associate State Specialist and
Building Strong Families Program Coordinator
University of Missouri Extension
162 Stanley Hall
Columbia, MO  65211
573-882-4071 or SchraderL@missouri.edu

http://extension.missouri.edu/bsf

 

Strong Families for Strong Communities

 

 

34 comments:

money said...

We need to set up situations for them to succeed to become independent. Yet when it comes to my parents, I hold some different beliefs—they are grown adults; they should take care of their own finances;

Gexton said...

I’m so lucky that I have got this site that imparted me the high quality of information easily.
Android App in Pakistan

Anonymous said...

Wowww… quite cool blog you have!!!!
credit people reviews

Anonymous said...

Your blogs and its stuff magnetize me to return again n again. 321 Respond Now Tips

Unknown said...

Your blogs and its stuff magnetize me to return again n again.
payday lenders

Unknown said...

Hello,

I am much glad to visit to this website and feeling happy to get the opportunity to post a comment on it. Financial help is needed every sphere if in family or may be any organization or institutions. Here I found that you have given some suggestion regarding this particular topic, that's one is really superb. If anyone needs any kind of Title Loans, please visit to our website.

Anonymous said...

Hi Dear, have you been certainly visiting this site daily, if that's the case you then will certainly get good knowledge.
whole lif einsurance

Anonymous said...

life insuaranceIt's been good to see your blog when I always look for such type of blogs. It’s great to discover the post here.

Unknown said...

best whole life insuranceThis is really pretty cool place I like it because it has everything I want more on this blog soon.

Anonymous said...

congratulations guys, quality information you have given!!! www.credit-insure.co.uk

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing such a nice knowledge with us. A must read blog. life insurance

Anonymous said...

Finicky post! I am too surprised to see this blog; I want to get more information can you please add more things?
Insurance Brokers of Maryland

Unknown said...

This written piece gives fastidious understanding yet.http://paydayloans101.org/

Anonymous said...

I want to give my special thanks to you; very first time I have got such type of blog that has described everything perfectly. public adjuster

Anonymous said...

With polite greetings I want to say that this post is amazing!! Thanks www.propertytoinsure.co.uk

Unknown said...

Thanks a lot guys you have done the great job, this post is very good. whole life insurance

Unknown said...

Great post....thanks for sharing this profitable data.
Sympathetic see my web journal cash against credit card chennai
at low interest.

Anonymous said...

thanks for sharing

SeniorLeads

diego78 said...

Amazing to know about this information on finances. Recently, hired a registered investment advisor Las Vegas advice on investments. He explained every detail perfectly and it helped me in making right investments.

Srikanth said...

I am glad to find amazing information from the blog. Thanks for sharing the information. Income Tax Refund in Vijayawada

Srikanth said...

Impressed a lot. I really like your blog. Tax & Financial Planning in Vijayawada

Unknown said...

Thanks for sharing information related to money investment tips .

Harry said...

solicitor will near me

Mrs Sharon Sim said...

Hello Everybody,
My name is Mrs Sharon Sim. I live in Singapore and i am a happy woman today? and i told my self that any lender that rescue my family from our poor situation, i will refer any person that is looking for loan to him, he gave me happiness to me and my family, i was in need of a loan of S$250,000.00 to start my life all over as i am a single mother with 3 kids I met this honest and GOD fearing man loan lender that help me with a loan of S$250,000.00 SG. Dollar, he is a GOD fearing man, if you are in need of loan and you will pay back the loan please contact him tell him that is Mrs Sharon, that refer you to him. contact Dr Purva Pius,via email:(urgentloan22@gmail.com) Thank you.

BORROWERS APPLICATION DETAILS


1. Name Of Applicant in Full:……..
2. Telephone Numbers:……….
3. Address and Location:…….
4. Amount in request………..
5. Repayment Period:………..
6. Purpose Of Loan………….
7. country…………………
8. phone…………………..
9. occupation………………
10.age/sex…………………
11.Monthly Income…………..
12.Email……………..

Regards.
Managements
Email Kindly Contact: (urgentloan22@gmail.com)

Robert Goss said...

I'd like also to share my experience in such company that offers different kinds of loan. I think it's a good thing and time to let you all know here that my source indeed reliable. Their agents are all friendly and sweet. You will likely be amazed when you process your loan or even insurance of your car in my company source.

busitechnews said...

As students’ college loan debt grows, How much student loan debt is too much?

With more students attending college, and taking on debt to do it, the nation’s outstanding student loan debt grew by 2.1 percent, to $1.41 trillion, from $1.38 trillion at year-end 2017, according to the Federal Reserve Bank of New York.
Loans can have some unexpected benefits Read More @

How much student loan debt is too much?

Unknown said...

Do you need Finance? contact us now.
Are you looking for Finance?
Are you looking for a money to enlarge your business?
We help individuals and companies to obtain loan for business
expanding and to setup a new business ranging any amount. Get a loan at affordable interest rate of 3%, Do you need this cash/loan for business and to clear your bills? Then send us an email now for more information contact us now via Email
:specializeloanservicing@gmail.com

Unknown said...

Are you looking for a business loan, personal loans, mortgage loans, car loans, student loans, unsecured consolidation loans,project funding etc ... Or simply refuse loan from a bank or financial institution for one or more reasons? We are the right solutions for credit! We offer loans to businesses and individuals with low and affordable interest rate of 2%. So if you are Interested in an urgent and secured loan. For more information kindly email us today Via: elegantloanfirm@hotmail.com.



Alum Financial said...

"You must work a combined average of at least 30 hours per week." - It is my must for Student Loan forgiveness

Nirajnanal said...

Hi Lucy

This is probably the best, most concise step-by-step guide I've ever seen on how to build a successful blog. I appreciate your writing skills and sharing useful information.

Thanks
Nirajnanal

Credit Loan Solution said...



You can't believe what i just got,… A loan of $ 60,000. I have been looking for a loan for the past 2years until i was referred to a legitimate lender. Though it was not that easy to approve my loan, as you know nothing good comes easy. But I got my loan within 4 hours i got my loan, and before i knew it, the loan was transferred to me. please friends, don't let any body deceive you and scam you for this is real. Contact them via Email: gaincreditloan1@gmail.com OR You can also whatsApp them at: at +1-(901) 676-0641 (WhatsApp Only)

roland elizabeth said...

I was searching for a loan to sort out my bills & debts, then I saw comments about Blank ATM Credit Cards that can be hacked to withdraw money from any ATM machines around you . I doubted this but decided to give it a try by contacting {skylinktechnes@yahoo.com} they responded with their guidelines on how the card works. I was assured that the card can withdraw $5,000 instant per day & was credited with $50,000 so i requested for one & paid the delivery fee to obtain the card, i was shock to see the UPS agent in my resident with a parcel{card} i signed and went back inside and confirmed the card work after the agent left. This is no doubt because I have the card & have made use of the card. These hackers are USA based hackers set out to help people with financial freedom!! Contact these email if you wants to get rich with this Via email skylinktechnes@yahoo.com whatsapp/t: +1(213)785-1553

Milagros Export said...

I want to share a testimony on how Mr Pedro loan offer helped my life,
It isn't a good idea to use a payday loan on a regular basis. In the event that you endlessly prolong your repayment date and borrow often towards your subsequent paycheck, it could run you a good amount of money. However, it is just as sensible to decide on payday loans as they can be swiftly approved exactly the same day you put in your loan application form. You can contact Mr Pedro loan offer because my payday loan was very fast to proceed, email pedroloanss@gmail.com to request any kind of loan. Whatsapp +18632310632.... thank you.

Rohan Dave said...

Thank you for such valuable information about Public Service Loan Forgiveness Program, if you would like to know more about the best schools in Bengaluru, visit Top Cbse Schools In Bangalore